If you asked any of my peers from the schools I went to
From elementary up through high about me
You would possibly be surprised as to how many
Never even knew my face.
My name.
The fact that I even existed.

So…..forgotten was I, that I didn’t even show up
In yearbooks.
Though I had my picture taken every year.

A mere six months after high school,
And the people who did know me have
Mostly forgotten.
Say my name, and they may recognize it briefly
However that’s as far as that recognition will go.
Only a name.
Even then they’ll be uncertain.

I have no redeeming qualities that would
Come to mind nor imagination.
I was just a sheep, following the herd.
And yet, I’m always lost to vague memories
Of things that likely never happened.

Often the only way to even be noticed
Was to do something considered wrong.
Crazy. Immoral.
And then I would be told that if I wanted attention,
That I was going about it all wrong.
That doing as I had been,
Being invisible,
Was the right –no…correct- way to get it.

If you ask the teachers and principles, they’d all only say I
Was a “problem child.”
Yet, I never did drugs or such things
And never got into fights.
The only time I was a “problem” was when I tried
To change my own situation through means that
People would actually pay attention to.

With public schools,
It takes violence and immorality to get things to change,
For people to finally listen to what you are saying.
Now, I’m not promoting such things.
However in my experience
Diplomatic talks have never actually accomplished anything.
At least not in regards to dealing with adults.
Whether you’re eighteen or eight,
Adults will likely ignore your existence till you
Make them listen.

These people, with their ignorance and stiff minded ways,
Are why our societies and governments are so corrupt and immovable.
Even when you find a person who listens just a little bit,
They never really hear what you say.

So when people say I had so much potential,
So much to live for,
All they’re doing is lying to themselves
And saying they had no part in any of it.
That they were always there for me to talk to,
Except they really weren’t ever there.

Either way, no one really listened to what I had to say.