I've been searching for awhile.
Seems when I get close I fall back a mile.
I'm so lost I drifted away.
What can I say?

Set my heart on a pedestal to display.
Found out the hard way it could easily break.
There is no pain killer to take way the ache.
Just helpless nights and sleepless days.
It's like being hypnotized and put in a daze.
Nothing feels real and it all feels fake.
Makes you wonder if you are even awake.

Can burn my body to the stake.
Face the judgments of my sins I will never forsake.
Can pull the wings off my back.
Let me watch the colors of life fade to black.
Even then my soul will be lost.
Pay the consequence of what my actions had cost.

So I search for something that is impossible to find.
Looked for another door that I could be made refined.
Therefore I can escape religion and not worry when I die.
Give the heavens a soul they could never deny.
Leave this life behind and commit suicide.

Nor do I have the strength to take a gun to my face.
Or even try and pull what might be that simple trigger.
God give me the vitality to be vigor.
Live another day and wait for fate.
Give me even more time to reconcile.
Let me walk another mile.
Have my lost soul search awhile.