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Dec 2014
I'm tired of worrying about hurting your feelings.
You're tough - you can handle some honestly.
This -this offness that happens between us - is called codependency. It's when one of us becomes unhappy, and the other person can't stay happy because of it. Or when one person gets slightly disappointed or upset by something and let's it dig then into a hole they either can't or don't want to get out of, and then they take it out on their counterpart in various ways.
Ignoring them, not speaking, not interacting, withholding answers, withholding physical contact, refusing to provide the attention, affection or love the other person requires. It's selfishness.

You and I are both guilty of it. But recently it feels like you struggle the most. I'll mention something like family dinners will be moved to Sunday's for a while, which somewhat conflicts with the days we spend together - and you'll be disappointed that we don't get as much time together as you want.
I'll still be spending the whole day with you, I say, a fraction of it will just be at my house, with my family.
You'll say yes, family time is important, but I just want those days to be for us two.
Well guess what, when we're spending those days together, it's with YOUR family. I think your real problem is with my family. Even though you'll still be getting just as much time with me, which I'd think you'd be happy about, you're upset that it's not under your conditions. And you let it bother you and bother you until you refuse to acknowledge me.

This happens too often. It hurts me, badly and it hurts you, and it hurts us. When you're in a better mood, you and I can talk about it and you'll promise to try harder to be happy, promise to tell me what's wrong when I ask, and you never do. You don't seem to even try. I know it's not impossible to make yourself happy - I do it everyday. I do it for you, because I want you to be happy. But you seem to forget.

I don't want this to hurt us anymore. We shouldn't be feeling this way so often. I need you to be honest with me about how you feel, I need you to be willing to discuss it with me, I need you to try, please. I love you so much and I am choosing you, right now, I'm choosing this - and I'm choosing to finally be honest about what I'm feeling.
I need you back, I need your normal self.

I miss you. I miss my best friend. It feels like you're a different person when we have days like this. I know we can make it better, but I need you to try, for me. Please.
Robyn
Written by
Robyn  Seattle, WA
(Seattle, WA)   
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