sitting on this barstool
talking like a **** fool
got the twelve o'clock news blues

i've given up hope
on the afternoon soaps
with a bottle of cold brew

is it any wonder I'm not crazy
is it any wonder I'm sane at all

well I'm so tired of losing
but I got all day to do it

i go out cruising but I've no place to go
and all night to get there

is it any wonder I'm not a criminal
is it any wonder I'm not in jail

too much time on my hands,
it's ticking away with my sanity
it's hard to believe such a calamity

well I'm a jet fuel genius
i can solve the world's problems
without even trying

i have dozens of friends
and the fun never ends
that is as long as I'm buying

is it any wonder i'm not the president
is it any wonder I'm null and void

is it any wonder that i've got
to much time on my hands