Secrets I Kept From Him

You will never ever find out I wore long sleeves For a while For a reason A very twisted And bloody reason You will never find out That I starved myself For 5 years Because I Was never enough For myself You will never find out ***I tried to kill myself At the age of 11*** Because Girls Can be mean and Bullying Eventually Gets the better of you And when they hate you Pretty soon You hate yourself too You will never find out I wore black For a long time To reflect my inner depression But I was depressed Long before that For years You will never find out I may or may not Have dysmorphia I really don't think so But my mother gets more And more worried Everyday When I mutter to myself Just out of habit How hideous and worthless I am When I turn out the lights In the bathroom When I am not wearing make up So I do not burst into tears Because of the shame I feel Of my ugly, ugly face But it's real The mirror shows me the truth A disease of the mind Is not distorting My vision Of myself You will never find out How broken I was For a very long time And I am glad Because you couldn't have handled it anyway.

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