#youwillneverfindout
You will never ever find out
I wore long sleeves
For a while
For a reason
A very twisted
And ****** reason
You will never find out
That I starved myself
For 5 years
Because I
Was never enough
For myself
You will never find out
***I tried to **** myself
At the age of 11***
Because
Girls
Can be mean and
Bullying
Eventually
Gets the better of you
And when they hate you
Pretty soon
You hate yourself too
You will never find out
I wore black
For a long time
To reflect my inner depression
But I was depressed
Long before that
For years
You will never find out
I may or may not
Have dysmorphia
I really don't think so
But my mother gets more
And more worried
Everyday
When I mutter to myself
Just out of habit
How hideous and worthless I am
When I turn out the lights
In the bathroom
When I am not wearing make up
So I do not burst into tears
Because of the shame I feel
Of my ugly, ugly face
But it's real
The mirror shows me the truth
A disease of the mind
Is not distorting
My vision
Of myself
You will never find out
How broken I was
For a very long time
And I am glad
Because you couldn't have handled it anyway.
Dec 6, 2014
Dec 6, 2014 at 1:24 AM UTC