i'm ******
i can't tell people anything
i can't show
how melancholy i am.

asking for help in a floundering family
making things worse for those i love
in a family full of mental illness
letting them know that i've got it too
i can't do that to them.

i'm supposed to be the normal one
i can't say that i'm almost always thinking of death
so i contain it
and suffer in silence.

it seems like the easiest option
for everyone around me
i abandon my friends
so they won't know
and i only say the bare minimum
to those around me.

he doesn't know
that i've been suicidal
none of them do
i just keep quiet while life passes me by.