Today I touched your hands for the first time in months
They were cold
You said winter was quickly approaching
I laughed
Because winter is something California doesn't know too well
But I do
I know the below zero temperatures
How we spent those nights huddled together underneath your sheets
When your breath was the only thing in the world that could keep me warm
I kept my socks on
I always did
You said it looked silly
But you didn't mind
I think we fought most when it was chilly outside
The weather being both a catalyst for an argument
And an excuse for me to spend the night
I spent so many with you that I lost track

Today I wondered where the time went
And gave up looking when I couldn't find it
I thought about how I used to tuck my secrets into your palms
For you to keep safe
I know you probably still have them
Wedged between your knuckles
Blue from the weather
And the lack of circulation
You told me you hated it
But the color of your skin when it is cold outside is my favorite
Everything about you has always been my favorite

Today I was next to you
But tomorrow I wont be
And soon enough I will be back on the other side of the country
I can't help but hope that you will still think about me
When you are stuck in the snow and the wind blows against your flushed cheeks
I hope you think about my hands cupping your face
And how they would shake
Just to be able to hold you there
I would risk shivering for your comfort anyday

I never told you this
But you are the only warmth I have ever known that doesn't burn at the touch
You are the only fireplace that I can lay next to without catching flame
You are the only summer that exists even in the middle of a Chicago winter
Yours is the only jacket I will ever accept when I forget my own
You are my warmth
So I am going to keep you close
For as long as I possibly
I am going to keep you close
As long as you want me to,
As long as you let me.