Dec 2014
Suicide Watch
Yesterday I read your words Inscribed across yellow lined paper-
On a warm spring day you had planned your funeral-
I know you are alive right now alone here in your bedroom
A breeze would gently rock the branches on the trees outside-
I would peer outside the window-
Daffodils are dancing amongst the freshly grown grass,
Dew kissed roses are coming alive. I would yearn to be outside
Walking happily welcoming spring- Once both of our favorite times of year
When the world was awakening from a long winter’s nap-
I cannot leave you alone.
Sitting still on the blue velvet wing chair I watch you- you do not move.
Oh how still you lie, although with eyes wide open
Tear-filled, staring into space,
I hardly know now where I belong in this world myself-
Words inscribed across yellow lined paper-Were plans to end your life-
Your death sentence drowning in a deep depression-
The sun shines brightly on a spring day
But I know you are blind to the light.
I would yearn for you to be the mother you used to be-
As I sit still witnessing your emotional death.
I am not allowed to leave you alone-
As I watch you slowly deteriorate-
Words I have read inscribed on yellow lined paper,
Watching your tears fall as you lie motionless-
Are fate’s way of telling me if I were to step out of the door to this room-
You would take your life- and I would be to blame.
Our lives have both had its peaks and its craters-
I hardly know what life means anymore-
My flagging grasp upon reality and the loss of your will to live
Have left our futures in the bleakness of despair-
I write my own words on a torn sheet of yellow lined paper-
Begging for you to come back to me- words you may never see-
In my own way I am leaving this world to a place in the realm of my fantasies-
It is the only way I can escape seeing you in such a wretched state.
Now I can feel my own tears streaming down my cheeks as I cry “Come back to me”
In a moment of anger I throw away the letter you wrote on yellow lined paper-
Outside it is the most beautiful time of year but the darkness inside of
Your heart soul and spirit has formed a black cloud overshadowing the light-
And the sun may never rise in your world again- wherever that world may be.
Claudia Krizay
Yesterday I read your words Inscribed across yellow lined paper-
On a warm spring day you had planned your funeral-
I know you are alive right now alone here in your bedroom
A breeze would gently rock the branches on the trees outside-
I would peer outside the window-
Daffodils are dancing amongst the freshly grown grass,
Dew kissed roses are coming alive. I would yearn to be outside
Walking happily welcoming spring- Once both of our favorite times of year
When the world was awakening from a long winter’s nap-
I cannot leave you alone.
Sitting still on the blue velvet wing chair I watch you- you do not move.
Oh how still you lie, although with eyes wide open
Tear-filled, staring into space,
I hardly know now where I belong in this world myself-
Words inscribed across yellow lined paper-Were plans to end your life-
Your death sentence drowning in a deep depression-
The sun shines brightly on a spring day
But I know you are blind to the light.
I would yearn for you to be the mother you used to be-
As I sit still witnessing your emotional death.
I am not allowed to leave you alone-
As I watch you slowly deteriorate-
Words I have read inscribed on yellow lined paper,
Watching your tears fall as you lie motionless-
Are fate’s way of telling me if I were to step out of the door to this room-
You would take your life- and I would be to blame.
Our lives have both had its peaks and its craters-
I hardly know what life means anymore-
My flagging grasp upon reality and the loss of your will to live
Have left our futures in the bleakness of despair-
I write my own words on a torn sheet of yellow lined paper-
Begging for you to come back to me- words you may never see-
In my own way I am leaving this world to a place in the realm of my fantasies-
It is the only way I can escape seeing you in such a wretched state.
Now I can feel my own tears streaming down my cheeks as I cry “Come back to me”
In a moment of anger I throw away the letter you wrote on yellow lined paper-
Outside it is the most beautiful time of year but the darkness inside of
Your heart soul and spirit has formed a black cloud overshadowing the light-
And the sun may never rise in your world again- wherever that world may be.
Claudia Krizay
