together we grew,
but you left
before I was done.
hopped over a boundary
a wall that kept you from me.
I still looked for you
saw you when I could,
but time wore on
and you came less.
you cut out the day
that celebrated
our relationship,
our difference.
and now,
when you should've been home,
you stay away again.
instant confusion
swirled with pain
are baked with pie in oven.
anger results, mother cries, father sits and comforts,
as the bearer of bad news.
mind numb, heart pounding
resounding desbelief
do my ears deceive?
what happened?
what have you done?
why?
questions pour
from lips faster
than thoughts themselves
can form them.
to this moment,
I cannot tell your condition
cannot assist in your struggle...
but above all...
I still don't know why
every day you suffer in your self-induced agony
and I don't think you know
that every hour of your torment
is a lifetime for me.
and I still can't know
whether by needle
or by spoon
this medicine is always bitter.
please
Victoria
big sister
just this once
come home