Sometimes I wish you could just be real,
When really, it has always been my responsibility
To see you.
Sometimes I just want,
And want, it's uncomfortable
And that's okay.
It's okay to be uncomfortable
To notice that there's more to me,
That there's more to do,
Work to be done.
Sometimes you tell me phrases,
And I reject them,
Throw them deep into your throat.
I'd rather that they burn
Than for them to reach my ears,
That I be responsible for your happiness.
For that, I'm sorry
Sometimes I couldn't see,
Past the haze of anger,
Of angst that I didn't understand.
The guilt I hadn't learned to accept,
The responsibility I needed to avoid.
Sometimes I'm glad,
I had you to hold us up,
To hold me above you
While I threw stones at your head.
Sometimes I wish,
You could see me now,
To know that I'm more
Than what I was.
That I'm capable of choosing
To never be the tower
By your side.
Sometimes I'm happy,
And sometimes I'm grateful.