Maybe I will just watch the movie alone.
Maybe I will just make the rolls and the pie.
Maybe I can sit here and list off what I am thankful for
Or maybe I won't.
Once again you've ruined it for me.
Once again you are in my head telling me
I ****.
I'm the worst daughter anyone could ask for.
Well, congrats! I'm alone tomorrow.
You got your wish.
Are you thankful for that?

Do you think about me?
Do you wonder what I am doing?
Do you think each time you take a bite
Of the crummy pie crust you make
How you wish I was there to make it?
No.
I bet you don't.

It feels like to me you are glad.
Glad I'm not there
To embarrass you once again
With my colorful clothes
With my loud voice
Saying all the wrong things.
Well I hope that empty chair
Stares you in the face
As you sit down with your fake happy family
And you miss me.

And as you go around the table
Asking what everyone is thankful for
I wonder if you are man enough to say
You are thankful for the boring silence
The lack of arguments
The dull colors
For the extra space.
Because I'm not there.
And you made it so.
But just so you know:
I am thankful.
I am thankful for who I am.
I am thankful I have the people in my life that I do.
I am thankful you taught me what you did.
I am thankful I get some silence.
I am thankful that despite everything
You are still my dad.
And I know we don't speak.
And I know you will never read my words.
But maybe
Just maybe
One day you will let me back in
And you will realize
How you are not thankful
That you let me go.