The grief will lessen, the pain become a mild ache, some said, after the death and the son dead.
Somewhat like telling someone who is drowning the substance of water.
I cannot measure out the length of time of my grief, or how deep the pain goes by plunging a knife into the wound as if seeing like some cake or meat if it is cooked.
I see each morning dawn shadowy, as if ghosts walk through or clouds mask what little light I see or catch or gone out like puffed out match
Even in silence I sense his being there in the cool morning air; feel the loss like sand through fingers, although his image ghostlike lingers.
And at close of day, when moon's kingdom comes, stars tell lies by being there when maybe long ago they burnt out or were lost.
And you, my son, that last talk we had, mundane, yet real, tangible, real then as now the pain.