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Nov 2014
I feel weird, I mean I try not to be weird.
I hope you don't think i'm bad weird .
For i'm a total ****** that gets obsessed,
easily miserable and i'm a total mess.
I don't stay upset for long and i'm paranoid.
Paranoid because I don't want to be lost,
to make sure that everything feels right,
to make sure what i'm feeling is right.
Something else with someone doesn't feel like it with you.
Is it weird that i'm writing this poem about you.
I write when I feel something that I just need to express.
I want to see you really laugh and not hear that you've lost interest.
I want to keep you like something I really cherish.
You could be that glasses case with the old glasses and picture in it.
I remember swings and hearing your laughter, it's real,
I could feel it. I try so hard to make the conversation interesting that you really have the feeling you deserve.
The love and laughter and care you deserve.
For I want to be that someone that makes your movie.
The person that grabs you when you walk away
The person that kisses you in the rain.
The person that you share your secrets and insecurities with.
The person that changes you insecurities.
If only you knew I thought about you more than him.
If you only knew what I was thinking.
If only you knew how I feel that there could be a possibility someone else could make you really laugh,
It feels bad.
I don't want to be that psychotic girl, that's obsessed and easily jealous.
I can't have you when I really need you.
It's not want anymore, but need.
I've come to realize I need you.
It's no longer just an attraction but an obsession.
Laughing is the medicine you gave me,
but it only turned into a drug, where laughter wasn't the cure anymore,
but you.
I just want to be reassured that that's how you feel too.
Reassured not once, but a lot of times.
As i'm a girl that is deeply paranoid about things.
Thinking goes overboard and assumptions are crazy.
I don't know if I should show you this or not.
I'm scared of your reaction.
I don't want you to think of me as creepy or annoying.
The feeling is so exciting, so real, so fresh.
*****, a feeling that comes natural to me by you.
That's an inside thing I would never tell you out loud.
That't the reason I cant stare into your eyes,
or have you touch me at certain times.
Your embrace drives me crazy.
Do you think about me that way too.
It's funny that the insecurities you have, is what I like about you.
To be everything you've always wanted, I try.
Is this what it's suppose to feel like?
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