Nimble fingers break apart green stems
And I watch them as diligently as I watch him
Twirl ebony strands between his fingers
Nervously
Anxiously
Waiting.
I'm waiting for your call and he's waiting for his texts
And I'm questioning reality as my pink nicotine fingers type words
That stream from my broken mind
It hurts tonight.
Teeth tell stories and lies
And I realize I am unlovable.
Not because of you,
Or the others before
But because I am unloved by myself.

Skinny necks hold sturdy heads
Blonde hair covers red scalps
Scratched and torn apart from stress of deadlines and tests
He's not on your mind right now.

I take drags knowing they blacken my tongue
Making my words unrecognized even by myself
And I wonder where I am and when I should be home

We all want more
We need less
This world is something with answers that I feel should be left unsaid.

Stories told by tainted hearts
Questioning myself
Questioning my heart