I think I may take up smoking. And drinking. And possibly drugs. And everything else that will **** me, that will let me go. I will go outside during a blizzard and lay in the snow and wait. I will get so high I think I can fly and jump out a ******* window. I don't care. Just let me go. I can't feel my heart and I can't feel my legs and my fingers are red and I don't know what to think about, except eyes that are so blue they can't even be real.