Nov 2014
I love you. I'm high and you're the only thing on my mind. I want to kiss you and make everything okay for you. the thing about you, Brynn is that you put up so many walls. I want to tear them down and get to know every part of you. like what do you think about when you're tired but you just can't sleep? what makes you smile when you're having a bad day? do you like forehead kisses as much as I do? do you see crying as a sign of weakness or as strength? is it hard to make you cry? what are you the most insecure about? I'm low key afraid of the dark. did you know that? I'm insecure about everything. Do you ever feel like the world would be better off without you? one day at lunch, on a pretty day, I want to lay on the ground and look at the clouds with you. you make me weak in my knees. this is so mushy. I'm so high. I did like 3 lines. It's hard for you to say things sometimes, but I hope you know that I love mushy **** and it actually really makes my day. you make my day. You can tell me anything. id never judge you or laugh at you for saying something to me. nothing is ever too gay to say. I promise, babe. All of my thoughts are super gay all the time. if/when I give this to you. I want you to answer all the questions. I'm writing this because I want to know the answers. I had a great time talking with you Saturday night, but sadly it's made me miss you so much more now that I can't talk to you. it scares me that we'll be off for TWO WHOLE WEEKS for Christmas. I really wish I was allowed to talk to you. I really miss you. you know sometimes I get anxiety because I'm afraid you'll just get tired of me or fall out of love with me. I feel like once I get attached to people they always drop me.
I've been writing this over a span of a few days. it's 2:23 am on November 25. So its tuesday. I had a good day today, but around 9:30pm i had a mood swing and started feeling really strange. i isolated myself from everyone and kinda just stared at the ceiling in the dark. i want to be with you when you read this. PINEAPPLE. i miss you so much. But anyway, i went to sleep and woke up around 11:30 then got in a twitter fight with some random guy. I already felt like total **** so i decided to text an old friend, who has insomnia so i knew she would be awake. By this time, it was like 1:30. She basically told me that she's trying to cut the negativity out of her life, and im just a big ball of depression so i should leave her alone. Then i started sobbing? Whoops. I realized that i kind of don't have anyone. Brennan is asleep, you're punished. My other "friends" are sleeping, but either way i don't want to bother them with my ****. I feel like such a burden sometimes, ya know? I'm so sorry that im depressed. Do you remember when we first started talking about maybe getting together i said that i'm too mentally unstable to be in a relationship? I may have been right. But i love you, Brynn. I ******* love you. I'm just really afraid of you getting tired of my ****. I'm such a drag when i'm depressed. Please stick with me. I think we can last. Let me tell you- i just need a hug or a kiss sometimes... Literally i think that people hate me if they dont remind me that they don't. I'm so needy. I'm sorry. I don't know if im going to let you read this. but you're my girlfriend, we're supposed to share stuff, right? I'm only typing this long *** thing because i can't text or call you. i just have so many thoughts goodnight, babe.
today's my brothers 18th birthday. we bought and smoked some cigarettes and ate pizza. it was a grand ole time. we drove past Panera Bread and Great American Cookie on the way to dominos pizza. I was hit really hard with a wave of missing you. I wonder if you miss me as much as I miss you? I hope things are going well living with your mom. I wish I knew how you were doing.
I feel like you're just going to be really overwhelmed when you read this. it's so long but I just like to get my thoughts out. I've been checking and refreshing twitter like a mad person. I just want to talk to you.
Happy thanksgiving, *****. I'm in Mississippi. I read the whole book on the way over here. dumb ***** wouldn't let me drive. That was one of the best books I've ever read. it was kind of like soft ****. I loved it. when they broke up and she was with that bryson guy it really ****** me up. but there was a happy ending, so that was pretty great. I texted Zachi for a few hours last night. I kinda just vented about you. it was pretty wild. idk if I'd let you read it... ****. I wish I knew how you were doing.
I've been writing this over a span of a few days. it's 2:23 am on November 25. So its tuesday. I had a good day today, but around 9:30pm i had a mood swing and started feeling really strange. i isolated myself from everyone and kinda just stared at the ceiling in the dark. i want to be with you when you read this. PINEAPPLE. i miss you so much. But anyway, i went to sleep and woke up around 11:30 then got in a twitter fight with some random guy. I already felt like total **** so i decided to text an old friend, who has insomnia so i knew she would be awake. By this time, it was like 1:30. She basically told me that she's trying to cut the negativity out of her life, and im just a big ball of depression so i should leave her alone. Then i started sobbing? Whoops. I realized that i kind of don't have anyone. Brennan is asleep, you're punished. My other "friends" are sleeping, but either way i don't want to bother them with my ****. I feel like such a burden sometimes, ya know? I'm so sorry that im depressed. Do you remember when we first started talking about maybe getting together i said that i'm too mentally unstable to be in a relationship? I may have been right. But i love you, Brynn. I ******* love you. I'm just really afraid of you getting tired of my ****. I'm such a drag when i'm depressed. Please stick with me. I think we can last. Let me tell you- i just need a hug or a kiss sometimes... Literally i think that people hate me if they dont remind me that they don't. I'm so needy. I'm sorry. I don't know if im going to let you read this. but you're my girlfriend, we're supposed to share stuff, right? I'm only typing this long *** thing because i can't text or call you. i just have so many thoughts goodnight, babe.
today's my brothers 18th birthday. we bought and smoked some cigarettes and ate pizza. it was a grand ole time. we drove past Panera Bread and Great American Cookie on the way to dominos pizza. I was hit really hard with a wave of missing you. I wonder if you miss me as much as I miss you? I hope things are going well living with your mom. I wish I knew how you were doing.
I feel like you're just going to be really overwhelmed when you read this. it's so long but I just like to get my thoughts out. I've been checking and refreshing twitter like a mad person. I just want to talk to you.
Happy thanksgiving, *****. I'm in Mississippi. I read the whole book on the way over here. dumb ***** wouldn't let me drive. That was one of the best books I've ever read. it was kind of like soft ****. I loved it. when they broke up and she was with that bryson guy it really ****** me up. but there was a happy ending, so that was pretty great. I texted Zachi for a few hours last night. I kinda just vented about you. it was pretty wild. idk if I'd let you read it... ****. I wish I knew how you were doing.
