The first time i touch a boy i got a scar on my left hand and it stays there like a pale exclamation mark for about 13 years until now and i don't think it would fade or go like him after he got me bleeding and i wiped it with my white skirt and mother asked me i don't know i don't know i don't know
I used to be afraid of mother she once appeared as a monster in my dream she was so many she was so scary i could not even tell her that i was having a terrible fever i was afraid of her i swear i was
Sweating since the time i was born and it often makes me remember mother but she won't talk to me she won't talk to me any more i cannot talk to her she does not want to hear me she does not want to listen to my voice because
I remind her of her own self
That now she is trying to abandon
Knives in her stomach and my left hand is a dancer's hand i know it hurts, i know it hurts, mother
So when you bark i know you won't bite
And when you cry i'll run and pretend you aren't important to me and i will burn my airplane tickets and i won't go home i won't go home i won't go home
I wanna stay here forever
I wanna stay here forever
It's a pretty long time
I cannot stand long time
When i think of long time i think of hospital and there were you and i there were a lot of you and i and it's not only blood and cries but medicines and mri and needles oh
I cannot stand long time
Doctor, we won't come to you
We run out of time, and money, we cannot pay the taxi anymore
And when father says he will do anything
He lies

And i will not hand you a rope, mother,
Your hands are the rope
And mine are the ceiling.