it seems as though
when surrounded by smoke
of different illicit substances
that numb the minds of sad mortals
I tend to sit silently
feet stomping by
hands being held as different couples
one by one
pass by to visit the sanctuary of
a lonely bedroom
table for two
the breath I let out smells
smells that belong to broken promises
I made when I was young
no difference between the heater
above my head
and the door inviting in spirits
who were too cold to last outside
they both bring chills
they both bring memories
of the different places I have been
sitting on a staircase
the green carpet
upset from ashes flicked
into its skin
kinda like that one time
u burned me so hard with the fire
I saw inside of you
the fire I thought was a flame of light
and not a flame of hell
it burned through my flesh
and the scars
don't look like the burns that usually appear
deeper
smaller
can open just to close
to open up again
but here I am with those
just as ****** up as I am
hoping these brain cells will do all of the talking
but no
instead it takes me back to the same staircase
where I sit after taking too many drinks
and I wait for you to answer the phone