Pondering ways to escape
Trying to stop my mind from mulling over the ways that I'm trapped
In this cage of circumstance
Brain bruised from overthinking
Waking up in the middle of the night heart beating faster than cars speeding on the freeway
I dreamt again about leaving
But it's not so simple
Reality is harsher than a dream
Glimpses of wishes behind closed eyelids don't mean a thing
When truth forces you to take in the facts surrounding you
I'm stuck
The merest wish upon a star is irrelevant if the sky is starless  
I find myself looking left and right for guidance
Looking up to stop to the tears from falling and looking down in case they do
I have no clue
How to unbury my feet from the mud
Caked up from years of second guessing
And worrying if what I did would be enough
Tired of waking up disappointed as realization hits like a newly bloomed flower being crushed by the weight of a brick
When I understand my dream is just a dream
And I haven't yet been given the key
To unlock my happiness .