It was twenty past two,
In my bed I was snoozing
Soon to be awoken,
Though not through my choosing

I needed to urinate,
I had to go and ***,
Not one beer before bed,
Instead I had three

Not that I was drunk,
Not even a little,
The issue you could say -
My wakefulness was brittle

I went to the bathroom,
Not turning on a light,
A lapse of judgement,
I'll admit in hind sight

My urethra had opened,
My ***** did ****,
But unfortunately my friends,
It was quite the bad miss

In the darkness I stood,
As I threw down a towel,
An action that ultimately,
Only led to a row

Apparantly this mopping,
And a squirt of febreeze,
Just wasn't enough,
To put my girlfriend at ease.