I never knew my mother
in ways some girls know theirs
she left in winter
My sister was only two
She grabbed her stuff
and when we weren't looking
she ran through the door
she never said 'good bye'
she never cried
were we nothing to her?
It goes through my mind
at least once a day
if my mother was here
would I be in this much pain
There was a lady
that my dad married
she didn't want anything to do with me
I was just an obstacle in the family
I've had people to look up to don't get me wrong
but no one who actually wants to be my mom
My stepmom to be
is the closest I've got
but she never has wanted to be a mom
so we are more like friends
but she takes care of me
am I not worth it
is it me
why does everyone leave
no I'm not perfect
I'm covered in scars
And I feel safest
when I'm cutting
but I promised I wouldn't
so recently
I've felt insane
Never knowing my mother isn't really my problem
it's never having a real mother