I told you I wasn't ready,
                                                                    told you I don't have it in me,

                                     even said to you

                        I can't do this

                   nor would I
          ever allow
anyone
to hurt me
          again...

                You've tried to persuade me,

                                           attempted to make it impossible

                                                                for me to do anything else
                                  but need you,

                                             but

                              I told you

                               I wasn't ready

                                        not for what your asking,

                        I can't love,

                           not like you'd expect

                                                and I've been let down,

done & out and cast aside,

                  put out in the cold....

                       I told you I wasn't ready

                                                 for more of the same

                                        You'd think
                         I'd learn by now

and would have a clue,

              but you fooled me

                            not for long

            but fool I was

                                                           for YOU...

                         Doesn't matter
                                                          your excuses & reasons

                                                     because
                                                 I'm already so used to this

                                and

                                                        even if you're telling the truth

            there really is no use

                        because I'm so sick of you....

I've had pain aplenty.

                        Why'd you wish to cause me more,

                                deliberately playing with me,

           like I'm pose to just take it, deal with it!

                                             I told you I wasn't ready

           I'm so broken

           and

         there is no way
                                                for anyone to fix me

             specially you...

                         Not when you've come

doing the same

               exact things

              which had me running for the hills

just a while back!

                                             You're  doing so many similar things

                                          I have to wonder

                     if the cycle of my abuse

                                                             was plotted and planned

                                  as if

                       My Ex's gave you a road map,

           to the very things that'll destroy me...

                          As if they've given you the tools

to cause me such pain and harm.

                                      I pleaded with you,

                                                    explained my mistreatment,

                                                               my young child hood abuse...

                                                       Told you too

                                   how much

I've been through

          with my exes.

Told you still,

             how it feels to recently lose

                          so much in such a sort time,

           but you've failed to listen...

Failed to understand and refuses to cooperate.

                                       Guess the gaping hole in your chest

                                                 made you realize

                                    way to late,

             I spoke the truth.

                      When I said*

                                I WASN'T READY!

                          Always Me Ayeshah ™ ®
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