And the tear meets the floor
the sob escapes my lips
My body shudders
my knees give out

I am clueless on whether I should feel
afraid
or relieved

I can feel
It is a million times different than before
but its there

My heart is not stone
It beats
not rapidly
not specifically


but its alive
I'm alive
and I love you

Oh dear god I love you
I pray to any god who will help me
help me shed the feeling
I bear for those

That I
Cannot
have