never in my life,
Or in the span of the last few weeks

have I ever,
and yes I could go even further

felt so starved,
really I mean starved, vexed hunger

for some sort of notion,
reminder of a working heart and lungs

a feeling of substance,
something I search for fruitlessly

in a world that works,
in its subtle enigmatic ways

to alienate,
or provide an artificial basis for it

but that is so very beautiful,
and I think I really mean that

I want it and I want it now
I want the world at my throat
I want women and all
Other embodiments
Of all things beautiful
at either side of me

Adoring eyes, widened and excited
scanning in disbelief
waiting for the dream to end
because a dream so pure and good
will never last
and it doesn't and it won't
because it doesn't exist
to begin with

but a thought so pretty
forever forcing itself into existence

I want my dream to begin

I want these things to be my end