Once I possessed vibrancy
I embodied light
I lit the world anew with color
bending the spectrum
With wit, a queen of metaphor,
With all the warmth a world could stand

Once I held captive
the eyes of everyone I passed
My hips transformed faces
to Christmas lights strung together
aglow in my presence, blinking contentment
I did all the rising a person could do
I penetrated people in new ways daily

Once I was vague with beauty
It just swelled up inside of me
In ways I couldn’t define
And my fingers typed it out
And my mouth spat it into the earth
And trees would grow birthing fruit
Blessed with youth

Once I was a woman of meaning
With aspiration
with depth of a soul (I thought it was my birthright)
that could split atoms into betterness
zapped to life minus the bitterness

Once I meant more to me
And thought ovens were for baking
Lived separate from isolation
Once I didn’t walk, I floated
And you could read it off the page
And if you read it, you got me instantly and we were one

Once I could separate pleasure and pain
I thought college was a place of learning
Love was a possibility
And when I read Vonnegut I thought he was beautifully dark
And not beautifully honest.

Once I could figure out a way to end this poem
With grace, with punctuation
And elegance
Without rambling on
About who I used to be.

Once I was powerful
Now I just am.