I, Lou Paloma, do hereby request that the following items be given to their rightful owners

To my dearest mother-
I leave you my promises
The ones tucked gently under my pillow
Unblemished
Those dreams I never mentioned
Keep them safe
Make sure no one ever knows I cared

I leave you a brother more adequate of your affection
More worthy of your testimony
Do not mourn me wild woman
I am leaving you with nothing
Soon, I will be nothing to you too

To Billy-
I leave you my body
Take me
This spoiled temple
And discard me like the heathens do
Transform me into nothing more than the dust that I deserve to be
Forget the rules you always follow
Forget about me brother
Burn me at the stake
And don't let the smoke settle

I leave you my wife
Take her
And see her as whole again
Pick up the pieces I left in the kitchen
On the living room carpet
Scattered across the tree lawn
And give them back to her
Like the pieces of jigsaw from Christmas morning
Watch her place each piece more confident than the last
Enjoy every move she makes- It will make you whole too

To Irene-
I leave you my house
The one I couldn't pay for
The home you never adopted
Make it your own
Treat it like you did me
Take those tender hands
Outline each crevice my fist created
Patch the holes when it starts to crumble
It will crumble soon

Oh Sweet Irene
I leave you my dignity
Set it like spare change on the nightstand
Knock it under the bed when the time comes
I leave you those scars
From the first time
And the last time
And every other time therein
I leave you with vows never honored
I leave you here without me
I will leave you alone now
Like you always wanted it to be