"I love you don't do this to yourself Meghan please I love you too much to let you go"

WELL ******* YOU ******* **** YOU LEFT I ******* HATE YOU BUT I ******* LOVE YOU. STOP ******* WITH MY HEAD. **** NICOLE. PICK ME YOU ******* . YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN ME AND HER. YOU PROMISED ME FOREVER AND YOU ******* LIED. I SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING. I SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING I ******* CANT STAND YOU STOP IT NOW I HATE YOU. YOU FIXED ME AND THEN TORE MY ******* HEART OUT AND SMASHED IT ON THE CONCRETE. AND ALL I CAN DO IS STAND BACK UP AND LOOK YOU IN THOSE HAZEL BLUE EYES AND SAY THAT I LOVE YOU ANYWAYS BECAUSE YOU ARE MY ******* WORLD. ALL THAT TOUCHING AND ALL THOSE KISSES THEY WERE **** TO YOU. WHEREAS I TOOK THEM ALL TO ******* HEART.
I PUSHED YOU PULLED
I CRIED YOU HELD ME
I BLED YOU KISSED
I FAUGHT YOU SMILED
I BROKE YOU FIXED
I WAS AT MY WORST AND YOU STAYED AND YOU SAW ME AT A HORRIBLE TIME IN MY LIFE YET YOU STILL HAD THE DECENCY TO CALL ME BEAUTIFUL. WELL ******* AND YOUR SECRETIVE TONGUE I HATE IT ALL BUT I LOVE IT I HATE YOUR SMILE I HATE YOUR VOICE I HATE WHEN YOU TELL ME YOU LOVE ME I HATE IT NO I LOVE IT. OH GOD **** ME NOW BECAUSE I CANT CHOOSE AND ITS ******* ME UP I CANT TAKE THIS.
I HAVE ******* CUTS ON MY SKIN AND THAT RAZOR HAS SHOWN ME MORE ******* LOVE THAN YOU EVER HAVE. I HATE THIS I HATE KNOWING SHE GOT IN THE WAY OF OUR "FOREVER". I HATE HER AND I WANT TO SLIT HER THROAT BUT I KNOW THAT THAT WILL ONLY HURT YOU SO I WONT TOUCH HER. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO DO ANYMORE. ALL MY FRIENDS TELL ME I SHOULD MOVE ON BUT NO ******* WAY. I COULD NEVER EVER ******* GIVE UP. I EVEN TOLD MY FRIEND:
" I love him like I've never been burned. Like I've never been hurt. I will always love him like he never affected me. He ******* burns me down but I happened to fall in love with the flame. I have so much left to give to him. For him. I'm not going to give up because that shows him I don't care and it shows I never cared. I'm going to risk it all because those who don't risk everything never wanted it in the first place. I'm gonna give it all I got. I will love him like I ran through ******* fire. I will love him forever. Like I never loved anyone else. I will love him like I've never heard a lie and like I am falling for him for the first time. And nothing, not even he, can change this feeling. He tried to take his own life because he cheated on me. Regardless of whether he cheated on me or not, I am still in love with him, more than I care to admit."
AND ITS SO TRUE I CANT GIVE UP ON YOU AND NOT GIVING UP IS KILLING ME ALIVE. I FEEL NOTHING BUT PAIN. I DON'T LIGHT UP LIKE FIREWORKS WHEN I GET A MESSAGE FROM YOU, INSTEAD, I LOSE ALL COMPOSURE AND MY HEART SKIPS BEATS UNNECESSARILY AND I INSTANTLY START CRYING BECAUSE ITS A DEFINITE YES THAT YOU ARE ALIVE. AND I HATE THIS I ******* HATE CONSTANTLY LIVING WITH THE FEAR OF KNOWING I CANT DO ANYTHING BUT LET YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I ******* LOVE YOU. BUT EVEN THAT ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH SO I'M ONLY GOING TO SIT AND CRY AND READ SAPPY LOVE POEMS ABOUT BOYS WHO WILL NEVER CARE WRITTEN BY PEOPLE WHO ARE HOLDING ONTO THE SAME DESIRE THAT I AM, THE DESIRE THAT THEIR BOY WILL TURN AROUND AND LOVE THEM IN RETURN. SO ******* AND I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU, YOU *******.

//
{m.j.}