I wish you could tell me why
Why am I crying into my pillow
every night
because of a boy?
Why is the black hole in my chest
infinitely expanding
and ******* me into myself?
Why is it that I'm scared of myself?
Why am I afraid to close my eyes?
Why am I afraid to dream of him at night?
No matter where I run to,
you always follow me.
Where do I go
when there's nowhere left to run?
Tell me why you're my shadow.
Tell me why you left me to rot
in self-hatred and guilt
leaving the questions to plague my mind.
When cemeteries dug graves in my mind,
I blamed you.
And when I dug my own grave,
I sat in the hole dying,
waiting for you to bury me alive.
I waited for you to pile on the dirt,
to **** me yourself.
I wanted you to be the last face I saw.
I wanted you to hear the pain you caused.
I wanted you to see the tears fall from my faucet eyes.
Tell me why
you never came.