i wish i allowed other people close enough to touch me

not just my body

but the forlorn veins that pump blood effortlessly into the organs and body parts that make me whole
the parts of me that nobody sees like the moon i stay half hidden
half asleep


i've lost sight of where i want to be again
and i hate that whenever i meet someone new
i can't help but think of how you'd approve of them

it's like your voice plays in the back of my head like a record on repeat that i'm too lazy to flip over or change altogether

it's not that i miss you
i miss who i was before you

and i think with losing you
i lost her too