I’ve had but only one experience with romantic love. For a flirting moment I felt that someone was interested in a deeper relationship. But I don’t know if that can be true or not, because I will never be able to ask him. Whatever it was that we had was so carelessly taken from me, so spitefully placed out of my reach, and out of my sight, and hopefully soon to be out of my mind. But he couldn’t leave my mind alone. The thought of him would loom over me, I could feel the presence of pain behind me. Memories of him loomed like his gigantic shadow.. a shadow looming over me.. such as he did on our last encounter. He was so cordial then, and gave me the warm pleasantness of his embrace. I was very glad to see him, for things between us had been distant for the past weeks. He called me doll like he always used to, and things felt as if they were the same as before, as though nothing had changed. Very little did I know that the following morning I would be struck with the bitter news. I was so foolish to have not realized what I saw with my eyes on the previous day, and too bemused to say much of anything to him upon hearing. Our relationship had unexpectedly come to an end. I felt as though he had died, when all that happened was he left me to pursue another. Within one month I experienced emotions that I thought I never would. I loved, then cried, then loved again, then cried again. Within just one month one person gave me a new experience, a new feeling, that no one has ever done before. He made me feel some way. I don’t know how to put it into words. It is a very challenging and bothersome thing, when you can’t put something into words. In most cases, I am able to conjure at least a sentence to describe my emotions. However, whatever feeling he gave me was beyond my vocabulary. But now he’s gone, removed from my life, and I’m left with the memories. I abandon any feelings I once had of him, and work everyday to relinquish the idea of what we were. I was in love with the idea of us, even though I never knew what we were. If I think about it, we never were much to begin with, and what it was in the beginning is hard to label. The only conclusion that I can draw from my experience is the one word I have tried to avoid my whole life, out of fear for it ending as this experience has; love.