im trying to cope with my pent up feelings but actually i'm drowning in my insanity and anger and sadness. and although i am engulfed and completely surrounded by water i still cannot seem to wash these emotions off of my hands. maybe i need that trigger from myself to clean out my chest and my brain, but in order for that to happen i need to load the bullets and pull, but i don't think i can do that. i am losing grip second by second, slipping and sinking into the depths that i cannot seem to paddle my way out of.