I've been struggling for quite a while trying to find a series of words to express my happiness in a series of situations. It's not that I am unhappy. It's simply the idea of happiness doesnt hit you at 3 AM when you're halfway through a mental breakdown, trying to put the pieces of the puzzle back to get rid of the breezes of air that rush through your memories turning your heart into a shattered piece of ice. Happiness is not wishing you were still young and foolish, letting him convince you that he's still in love with you.
Happiness is living with your cold heart on your sleeve, dancing in the rain even if it's just metaphorical, and loving a guy that will never love you back when knowing you'll probably end up being hurt again. It's sitting across your laptop trying to find the right way to explain when you're happy to a bunch of sad souls sitting across from their screens too trying to find refuge in other people's words, trying to find hope that the happiness they're looking for is found by someone else and that they will eventually find it too.