I don't act the same I'm nicer than I've ever been My jokes are sharper People actually like me now I'm respected in my community I'm a leader I'm an actual Christ follower now But why am I still here?
I don't look the same My ****** hair grows faster I wear glasses now I've gotten kind of paler I slick my hair back I have gray hair And now I'm balding But why am I still here?
I don't live in the same conditions now House is smaller I maintain it, cook it, clean it, pay it I don't have people cater to me I cater to myself and those who live around me I have my own van Van is ***** ***** is my room which is why I only now clean it But why am I still here?
Why am I still in this place? I feel lonely even when I know people love me I sometimes feel like I'm sinking and no one can pull me out I'm still angry no matter how hard I try I still have the darkness inside me It's trying to overtake me God can help me but I don't know how
There is a void between us That I wish I could reach across of I wish that I could be held once in awhile I'm kind of tired to doing the holding What I desire is rest and to not be there anymore To be called to so I may be comforted so I can comfort I won't refuse for a second if that happens I don't want to ask why anymore and instead exclaim, "Thank God!"