my form is formless
         -ness
he said i was a strange creature
to be remembered
now and again,
         always

i wonder how i looked
         dancing
with too many chemicals inside of me
my eyes
         wide
                and wandering

i couldn't let go of his hand for days

and in the rarest moments i let myself
slide
         back in time,
i am almost convinced
         that i never did.