a gas pedal pressed all
the way to the floor
passing all of the lights & not feeling
your heartbeat in the flicker
a quick approaching bend
(& i'm so sorry but)
how i wouldn't slowdown
the split second where time freezes
& my life flashes before my eyes
seeing a worn out repeat of
you walking away
my name rolling off your tongue
one last time
so i can hear it fade out
pinpointing the moment
i completely lost myself
chasing you but
running in place
while time speeds back up
praying in the debris
that there's a parallel universe
where you stayed
these permanent footprints
facing away from me
that show up in the pavement
wherever i go now
every single night
you were in love with me
& the accompanying bottle
the haunting resemblance of
your promises to me
in poems about him
how i've got nothing else to bet on
because you were my all in
this fire you've started
in a forest that was never yours
how much time we would have had
if we measured it in the moments
i loved you the hardest
my apology for
missing you this much  
even though you're still here