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Learned Helplessness

To feel like my ribcage cannot contain

the tremendous racket that is my

heartbeat.

 

With flung venom and sharp fangs,

You berate me, endlessly.

And I cower.

Dig my fingernails into my palms until they bleed.

It doesn't stop the tears from burning my iris' black

(the boys I'll turn to someday for validation

will tell me that they're beautiful.

And I'll stay in bed with them all day,

Never bothering to mention why I'm so tired).

 

But right now,

My scars are open wounds,

And you've made a game out of pouring salt onto them.

 

The pain is so profound, it will stay with me

For years.

But you'll belittle that too.

Until, everytime I lose control,

I think of you.

 

It's no wonder I don't know what innocence is anymore.

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m
Written by
moriah-jean
Published
Jan 21, 2011
Lines·Words
21·132
Notes

© January 21st, 2011 Moriah Jean

For my mother, and my love of psychology.

Permission

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