it was never meant to be easy, and we knew
it was always meant to be hard. i feel like a big baby when i admit
that i'm done with trying anymore, and it feels like i'm throwing in
the towel, kind of giving up on myself instead of giving up on others.
but i don't see why i should keep trying to put on a show
for these people who don't care what happens next, just want
to live in the moment and fizzle out in the next.
what a crazy thing life is, that today's utopia can
turn into tomorrow's apocalypse.
i'd prefer to be a beautiful shooting star burning out across
your vision rather than be a dim, flashing light somewhere
among your vast galaxy. i want to stir something within you and
have you wishing for something
better
for yourself when you witness my spectacular light,
have your heart crying out for more, have the better part of yourself
desire something better for your worst part.
however, i never want to burn out, i selfishly desire constantly,
maybe it's just my ego hoarding love for herself
but it feels like i am fizzling, popping, vanishing from where i am.
(i just want to ignite something inside of you)
it feels impossible to ever really mean something much to people
for a long time unless you leave a legacy of sparks within hearts
after you disappear
into the night. i hope you can build an inferno with the sparks
that i leave behind, and i hope that one day
i, too, will catch fire