I don't know where my mind wanders,
When it's silent and cold.
I've closed my heart shut,
Locked it and threw away the key,
Goodbye to love.

I was never content,
My existence was written up for higher things,
And I knew something was wrong,
I couldn't put my finger on it,
Or grasped why it happened the way it did.

To end up destroyed,
Only to realize,
I put myself back together with another plan.

And when he put his fingers on my skin,
I cringed from the impact,
And found myself to be incomplete.
He was never what I wanted,
Not even when my life was all about him.

He promised such beautiful things,
But they were all just words,
With no depth, no clarity,
No truth behind them.

He took me to his bed,
Pried my body free from restraint,
Buried his face into my skin,
******* in my essence,
And breathing out into my air.

I never felt more alone.
No matter how many times I screamed it in my head,
And all the hands that once held my own,
And all the pretty words they used to say,
From their venomous mouths,
And all the times patterns were traced,
Burning away pieces of myself,
And burying it into them,
I still, never felt more alone.