I am counting minutes,
I am counting seconds,
Pieces of time to avoid you.
I know in an hour you'll be gone,
And I can enter the Y in peace.
I am angry.
Oh so very angry.
I lived without feeling before,
Without the security,
The peace of knowing you are loved,
By your mom, dad, friends and family.
Even my sister, best friend, closest confidant,
Spent a year avoiding me.
I ****** up.
But now I know what empty is.
So when something so brilliant,
Bright and beautiful,
As you shows up,
It paints my sky in colors.
I'm bad at giving things up,
Especially when I believe in them.
But this silence I will uphold,
Because you give me no other option,
But to breath with bright and biting pain.
So I sit here counting seconds,
I'll break it if I see you.
I think about hating you sometimes,
But I never can,
And trying is exhausting.