a strange and bittersweet sadness. a sordid golden sorrow like I've never felt before. like caramel drizzled over a sliver of longing. i have never had a craving like this. a howl, a scream wouldn't be loud enough, i have not the substance to sob. nothing quite so jagged ad anger or frustration, those are glass shard sharp, a crystal knife or steel saw, this is something different, there is a dullness to it, cold, like being bludgeoned to death with ice cream. I've never felt a craving like this before.