Until I reached 18
I felt like a product of my mother , which …
I suppose is true, but I spoke more of her than of me ,
I spoke more of she than of me
I was ashamed of my lack of accomplishment so tried to make up for the wisdom and worries I though I should have ,
I’m not sure where this mindset came from
but I know where it’s going
and that is away from me

but even away is to come
so how can anything ever be gone away ?
that’s the quandary that is solved with the realization
that transmutation is the only way to truly defeat / displace / remove something  
the sending away of something will only cause it’s eventual return

so come with me , shadow
let me feed you the waters you need to move through this way
I already see the brightness
glow and glimmer in your core
as you scream please help me
help me !
let me be something not for these people!
I cry
Out loud
But only in my mind

The mouth makes the shape but the sounds don’t come near,
For fear
of the other’s ears
Please I beg to myself
Please help me .
Deaf to my own callousness
And blind to my own blood
I bleed on the kitchen floor along with my mother’s art piece , bleeding out her story so she can move on.
I’m no longer bound by anything but the tides of this mind
And the calling from the bottomless heart ,
Also things like gravity and forces like the earth turning.