"when god was chasing you, why did you leave him at arms distance?" i wonder if god knows that i haven't been finding peace in anything lately. the last time i felt safe and secure within this shell casing called my skin was when they opened up their arms like a door and told me it was safe to look inside even if it was for fifteen seconds to spare. i only wish i could keep the door open, but I'm not a very good doorstop. the only things that i can stop is people getting closer than arms distance because i can remember the last time god abandoned me. i am not the architect. i am a demolition expert.