Some nights I stay up counting my good deeds.
Wishing they would amount to something other than totals.
Maybe good deeds can.
Maybe good intentions will.
The meaning of a wish.
The want of a dream.
All we are, is not what we're content with.
Always hoping.
Hoping for something else.
Something more.

Does not knowing what we don't have, make a difference in what we want?
How can you miss something you never had in the first place?
How do you know that feeling really exists?
Or maybe...
You just hope it does.
Being full and satisfied with life right now.
Maybe that's enough until something comes around and shows you more.
Of what you could have.
Of what can add to your right now happiness.

And what if we know exactly what is missing.
Of what we did have but no longer do.
Of what was so temporary...
We didn't realize it's importance until it was no more.
How can we know a moment is
'The Moment' when we are in it?
Doesn't seem fair.
To believe we should hold on tightly to every now.
Then when it passes, it's a memory.
No time to catch up.
Like being asked to answer a question you hadn't heard.
How do we know that's it's all supposed to matter?

It
All
Matters

Especially when it's over.


*©NDHK