Laying on the bed
our bodies inches apart
our minds miles apart.
Your hand brushes against mine,
sandpaper on glass.
I shudder, I hope you don't notice.
You always do.

"You're different"
If only you knew why

Your eyes hold sadness,
I avert mine.
How can I look at you anymore?
I can hardly stand to feel your touch.
Oh, how I longed to be touched.

"Are you okay, hon?"
If only I knew why

Your pet name make me nauseous.
Morning sickness?
Mourning sickness.
The death of this
love
is so
tragic...?
I guess.
Like a romantic novel?
Sure.
But,
I have never been a sucker for romance.

"Do you even love me anymore?"
If only you knew how

You were my hero(in)
Like a lost puppy,
I was a lost soul.
You found me, starving
for love.
You took me under your wing,
Under your sheets.
Oh how magical it all was.
Was.
But,
the fire is out.

"Please...answer me"
If only I knew how

Please stop begging,
you're only hurting yourself.
You look so broken.
Like a child, you stare at me
Wide eyed.
Longing for answers.
Your blues have faded to pales.
I blame myself.
How can I hurt you like this?
Oh, right
I have no heart.

"I love you"
****

I wince,
like I was just pricked with a needle.
I can't do this to you.
Besides, I am not ready to fall asleep alone
Again.
I manage to swallow my pride
and utter those four God-forsaken words.

"I love you, too..."





*I'll just fake it



for a little while longer...