I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking, on thoughts and fears and already failed careers. My heart is bursting, it's bursting, it's bursting, so it can rip out my chest through my once bullet proof vest. My hands are numb, so numb, so numb, so when they try to reach out, they feel nothing but doubt. I'm so cold, so hot, so cold, so hot, I once knew what I was, but it seems now I do not. I'm not me, I'm not me, I'm not me, and I don't know where I am, if I'm woman or man, if I can't or I can, if I should run or I've ran, but BAM -