it wasn't supposed to turn out this way.
i was supposed to get better.
nothing was supposed to change.
it was supposed to get better.
i shouldn't be in this wreckage.
everything was supposed to get better.
better.
better.
better.
i've started to feel anger again.
the toxic brewing within me,
it's uncontrollable.
i've started punching walls again.
my knuckles bruised and swollen.
the paint on the walls has peeled from the blows.
i've started crying again.
the pearls trickling down my skin, hot.
i've started being edgy again, i've started having thoughts again, i've started being afraid again -
i've started again.
i've gone bad.
again.

( FAH )