I want to leave a message to my past self
You saw the world from a pin sized hole in a plastic cup
That never seemed to let enough sunshine in
You saw each day as an unbearable 24 hours
Each second made you shrivel up inside your own skin
Everything that would take you away seemed so close
Like soul on soul interaction seemed more logical
You never once saw anything in you
Other than blood and organs that just proved that you were nothing special
Everyone else seemed to have them too
You played a game of chess with yourself ensuring that you wouldn't lose
You were weak
And I mean bone snapping from a gust of wind, weak
Every blow left another hole
You didn't want to die
You wanted to be saved
Find a stable place
Where the walls didn't cave
You held on by fingertips
Off a cliff
Called your life a cliffhanger
You ached for something real and humble to bring you relieve
You searched for it in everything
You loved enough for two people
That's why your relationships failed
And in the end the only thing that made sense was hurting yourself
Taking bits and pieces of the inner workings of the things you held onto
Ripping away everything that made you human
I want you to know that I won't let you hurt anymore
Your biggest enemy has always been yourself
I won't give up on you

I want to leave a message to my past self

You're okay now
I took care of it