when you’re just half kidding
and when you stop caring about your body,
just repeat the cycle.
just keep going and for a minute you’ll think you’re fine again.
you’re safe back at starting point
and from here on it will be different, forever
you’ll never think the same way again.
you’ll never be sitting at your computer
moving back and forth from the treadmill to the chair
moving in and out between “i’m okay” and “please **** me”
because that’s just how you cope and who cares if it’s only sometimes healthy