My second love was the darkness
And I fell for it,
Hard.
In fact, I had an affair with darkness when I was still debating how much I cared for the light(not enough).
But we didn't become serious until a couples of months ago.
We spent two weeks straight together.
And even in the light, it would find me.
Sometimes whispering in my ears while in crowds of people, asking me if we could leave and go home already.
darkness was the only one there for me.
But it was not a shoulder to cry on, no.
It was the shoulder to my ribs that made me cry because of how ******* hollow it is in there.
Darkness taught me much more than a school teacher ever could. It must've been the way it pulled me underneath like a current dragging a body down do the sea floor. How at some point, I knew It was time to stop fighting my lungs and just stop heaving so **** hard. I couldn't get my mind off of it, it was my new distraction, the thing to think of during lectures and useless talk going on around me. It showed me how to be afraid of the light, to only talk when I must. And that if I shut off the light, maybe no one will notice the lack of sleep i carry with me under my eyes and the lump in my throat when I hear joy being vomited out of everyone's mouths like a disease going around the room that I'm immune to. Darkness was the lover that made me forget why I was still breathing. Darkness was the anchor weighing me down and the thing that made my vocal cords stop working properly, like their was water stuck in my throat and I couldn't speak my mind without causing a flood to **** up everyone else's day. Darkness made me think this way. It had me believing i wasn't meant to be the girl I was.. Had me second guessing the right time to speak.. Left me with no words to all the ones floating around my ears in conversations I stopped involving myself in. But I have finally awoken from the grasp darkness had held on me for so long, and I am now blinded by the light in the best way possible.